For a Minute There I Lost Myself
by candycat85
Summary: Every night Ally thinks of Austin..in the most intimate of ways. It's harder to do now that she's on tour. MATURE CONTENT WARNING.


**A/N: I'm not sure where this came from...so yeah. Mature content warning. **

My entire body shook as my orgasm washed over me. I was biting my lip hard to keep from screaming. It didn't work so well this time...or maybe this one was just extra strong. I couldn't contain my moan. It wasn't very loud but I was mortified none the less. I quickly slapped my hand over my mouth. My chest was heaving and I was still shaking. I listened hard. I couldn't hear anything. Everyone was asleep. I don't know why I was risking it by touching myself on the tour bus. In the middle of the night. With three people in very close proximity. It was just so hard to resist Its almost become routine now.

I haven't been doing it long. The first time I did it was a few days after Austin's tour started. I was alone. My friends were gone. I was alone in my room, trying to fall asleep. My thoughts strayed to Austin..as they often did. I thought of his smile and his voice. I thought of his eyes. I thought of the way he looked at me and how he made me feel beautiful.

I'd fallen asleep thinking of him. I'd dreamed he was kissing me. It wasn't surprising, I'd dreamed that before. But this was different. He was kissing me deeply. His tongue was gently dancing with mine. His hands were rubbing across my bare stomach under my shirt.

I'd never been with Austin this intimately before. Part of my knew it was just a dream..but I was enjoying it anyway. His hands roamed higher. He rubbed his hands across my bra-covered chest. I shivered. His mouth went to my neck now. He was licking and nipping at my collar bone.

"Austin.." I moaned. It woke me up. I'd laid there sadly when I realized it was just a dream. Usually after Austin dreams I woke up happy. Now I just felt..strange. I felt tingly. I was breathing hard. I felt so warm and achy..down there. I knew what it was. I was horny. I was horny for Austin. But what could I do about it? He was hundreds of miles away by now.

I knew what I could do. I was alone in my house. I closed my eyes and went back to where we left off. I imagined Austin kissing me again. I imagined my hands were his, as I caressed my inner thighs. I spread my legs. My fingers brushed across my sex. I gasped and my eyes flew open. Nothing had ever felt this good before. I closed my eyes again and thought of Austin.

I wasn't wearing any bottoms, so it felt even more amazing when I started up again. My fingers brushed slowly along my sex. I circled my clit slowly. I moaned loudly. I had no idea I could do this to myself. I imagined Austin again. I thought of him moving his fingers hard on me. I slipped my finger beneath my panties. I brushed my fingers along my bare opening. I moved my fingers inside and rubbed my thumb along my clit.

I began to move faster. I was breathing fast. My heart-rate skyrocketed. I could almost feel him. Feel him above me, resting his head in the crook of my neck. I could almost smell him. I felt that burning sensation. It felt so foreign at the time but it was familiar now. My first orgasm shook me hard. I cried out his name. I relaxed again. I felt in such a state of bliss. I'd never felt so close to him. He'd never have to know though. I'd never do it again.

Of course that was a lie. I did it all the time. Almost every night. I dreamed about him too. I felt guilty about it..sometimes. Not anymore really. I was just so happy to be on tour with my friends again, that I didn't even think about how it'd interrupt my nightly routine.

I stopped for a while. The first week or so I just went straight to bed without doing it. Then the dreams came back. I dreamed he crawled into my bunk next to me. He told me he loved me and wanted to show me how much. He was kissing me and touching me. I woke up panting again.

That's when I gave in. It's been two weeks and I've never been caught. I've been careful to be quiet. I could do whatever I wanted and think of him in whatever way I pleased..and no one else has to know. My breathing was back to normal now. I pulled my blanket over my head and fell asleep.

The next night I stepped out of the bathroom. I almost bumped into Austin.

"Sorry.." I said as I swerved around him. I tried to look everywhere but at his bare chest. He went into the bathroom and I went to my bed. I crawled under the blankets. I can't believe it. He drives me so crazy. As if it wasn't enough to see him perform every night, lighting up the stage with that amazing personality of his. He looked so hot up there. Now I had to see him run around the bus half-naked.

I waited until everyone went to sleep. All I could hear was the low rumble of the bus. I moved my hands under the covers. I closed my eyes and thought of Austin. I caressed my thighs and sighed softly. Suddenly I heard a noise.

I froze. Maybe someone was just going to the bathroom. I was quiet. The only sound was my breathing and the footsteps. I heard them approach my bunk. Suddenly, the curtain in front of my bed was wrenched open. I wanted to scream, but before I could a large hand covered my mouth.

"Don't scream..it's me.." said Austin. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I could see it was indeed him.

"Let me in...'' he said awkwardly. What else could I do..I moved over closer to the wall and he crawled into the bed next to me. I could feel the heat coming off his body. I wanted so bad to cuddle up to him.

"Austin, what are you doing? You scared the heck outta me.." I whispered. He shifted to where he was practically on top of me. He looked down at me. He was looking at me in a very strange way. He gently covered my mouth with his hand again.

"Ally.." he said. His voice was low and husky. "I know what you've been doing..every night." Oh my god. He didn't mean...? I blushed deeply. I couldn't speak as his hand was still over my mouth. I couldn't look him in eye. I kept my gaze fixated on his chest. It was a bad idea, considering he was still shirtless.

I reached up and moved his hand from my mouth.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about..." I said nervously.

"Don't lie to me." he said. "I hear you every night..breathing..moaning..screaming.."

"I don't scream!" I practically screamed. He slapped his hand over my mouth again. I could tell he was listening to see if someone woke up. I listened to and didn't hear anything.

I moved his hand away again.

"Why don't you just go back to bed..." I said. He smirked at me.

"But then I wouldn't get to do this.." he said. He leaned down and kissed me. Immediately I felt those sparks. Those fireworks I always felt in my dreams..but better. His tongue swirled fast against mine. I felt him push my shirt up and rub his warm fingers on my stomach.

This was amazing. Was I dreaming? This was like I'd always dreamed.. Did he love me like I loved him? No..I couldn't think about that now...especially now that his hands were roaming higher. His fingers brushed the bottom of my breast. I was very aware in that moment that I wasn't wearing a bra.

He broke the kiss. I looked into his eyes. He smiled at me. He leaned back in and started kissing my neck. His tongue traced across a sensitive spot below my ear. I moaned softly. He stopped and pulled back. He quickly covered my mouth with his hand again. He gave me a serious look.

"If we're going to do this.." he said sternly. "You can't make any noise.." I nodded. How hard could it be? He pulled his hand away. He leaned down and kissed me again. It was like magic. Our tongues danced together slowly. His hands slipped under my shirt again.

He kneaded my breast slowly. I sighed softly into his mouth. His fingers played with my nipples. I felt that familiar burning down below. His mouth moved to my neck again. He found my sensitive spot again. God, he was so good at that...

I felt his slide his hands down. He grabbed the waistband of my shorts. He slowly pulled them down, along with my panties. My entire body was shaking. I was so nervous. I was completely exposed to him now. He kissed me again. I think he was trying to distract me. I could hear him slowly shrug off his own pants. Was this really happening?

"Show me...what you do to yourself.." he whispered into my ear. His grabbed one of my hands and moved it between my legs. I looked up at him.

"Well..." I whispered. "I always think of you.." he kissed me again, hard.

I slid my fingers along my opening. I was surprised at how wet I was. I slipped a finger inside. My thumb brushed along my clit. I sighed into his mouth again. He quickly grabbed my wrist and moved my hand away. He quickly replaced it with his own.

I felt him slowly slide his fingers inside me. I bit my lip to keep from crying out. He crashed his mouth onto mine again. His fingers moved deep inside me. My god...this was amazing. He rubbed his thumb across my clit. I instinctively bucked my hips at him.

He smirked against my mouth. He rubbed me faster. God..I hated being quiet. I'd never wanted to scream more...His other hand was pinning down my hips. My breathing was deep and ragged. Just the fact that this was Austin doing this made me crazier.

"Austin...I'm so close.." I whispered. His hand stopped. He pulled it away from me. I wanted to cry out from the loss of the sweet contact. He moved to where he was completely on top of me. I felt the tip of his erection at my opening. I tensed up.

"...is this okay?" he asked me. His face was flushed and his breathing was ragged. I nodded. I bit my lip and he slip inside me. He let out a low growl. He moved inside me slowly. He leaned down and kissed me. I slid my tongue in his mouth fast, as if to show him what I wanted.

He sped up. His movements became spastic as we both approached our climaxes. He reached between us to pinch my clit. I almost cried out in pleasure. God..what was he doing to me? I knew it'd be impossible to stay quiet when I came..which was in a matter of seconds.

"Oh god.." I whispered. "I'm gonna..." I could even finish my sentence. He pinched my clit hard, sending me over the edge. I wanted to scream. My entire body was shaking. I felt like my heart would explode out of my chest. I covered my mouth with my own hand to keep from making noise.

It finally dies down. I looked up at him. His eyes are glazed over and he's looking down at me with such love. I blushed under his gaze. He smiled at me. He leaned down and kissed me slowly. He climbed off to lay next to me.

I reach for my shorts and underwear and pull them on. He does the same with his pants. We move under the covers. There's an unspoken agreement that he will not be going back to his own bed tonight. We lay in the darkness facing each other. All I hear is the low rumble of the bus.

"I love you." I whispered. For a minute I didn't think he heard me. The silenced stretched on awkwardly. I felt him move him hand to hold mine.

"I love you too.." he said. We fell asleep holding hands.

Sure, this would look weird to everyone in the morning when we woke up..but we'd cross that bridge when we came to it.

**The End.**


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